That's when you crack a 10am beer
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
