omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
