Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Randomize
