So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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