dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
