she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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