When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
