Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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