you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
