who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
