I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize