i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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