I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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