Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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