booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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