Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
