3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
