that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize