dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
