you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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