i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I accidentally burped into my bong.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
