Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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