Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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