I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
