i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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