She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
