you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
