His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
