maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
