Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I got inside last night via doggy door
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
