I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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