i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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