I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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