so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
