The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
