You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize