grandma shit on top of the toilet
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
