I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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