I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
