Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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