im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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