do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
