the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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