Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
