I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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