Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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