omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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