Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I love you.
Bad choice
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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