shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
