need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Dicks are not precious.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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