PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
