Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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