Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
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I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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