carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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