He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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