maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Congratulations! We have a period
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
