cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
