i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
