so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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