He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
