I showed him my bush... on skype.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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