from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
