I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
