Buhtt sex?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just found puke in my bra..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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