let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
