Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
