I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
