Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize