Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
