Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
