I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
