i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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